HOW TO STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
This article was written by Jennifer as a guest post for Lesocialpost.com. Find out more about the author at the bottom of the article.
Have you ever been in the following situation?
You browse through social media and think to yourself:
“I wish I was this attractive. I wish I was this wealthy. I wish I could travel as much as other people. I wish I was more ahead in life”
It has definitely happened to me in the past and it is something most of us struggle with.
First of all, when you catch yourself doing this, mindfully recognize these patterns but please don’t be too harsh on yourself. Comparing ourselves to others is something we are conditioned to do from a very young age. It already starts in school and Kindergarten, where we are constantly being compared to our peers and judged accordingly.
We want to find out how well we are doing in relation to others, so we start looking at their results and inevitably, start to compare it to our own work and abilities.
In this way, we also often develop a scarcity mindset where we think that other people’s success takes away from our own.
The problem with comparison is that it doesn’t serve you in any way. Instead, it tends to drain your energy. Think about all the amazing things you could CREATE in your own life in the moments you’re looking at others, comparing yourself and feeling miserable.
There’s a wonderful quote about the law of attraction that goes like this:
“Where focus goes, energy flows.”
This means that when you focus on other people’s lives instead of your own personal development, your energy flows away from you.
In addition, when comparing ourselves to others, we are often in a state of envy, which generally is a low vibration.
That’s why learning to stop comparing yourself to others is one of the most important things in personal growth and extremely important to living a fulfilled life where you embrace your potential and gift to the world.
So let’s dive into practical ways you can stop comparing yourself to other people:
- Practice gratitude
Write down a list of three things you’re grateful for every night before going to bed.
It might seem like a small habit but it makes all the difference because you shift your focus towards the things that are already in your life. Gratitude is really one of the best ways to not feel the need to compare yourself because:
Why would you constantly compare yourself if you’re grateful for your life and your abilities.
2. Whenever you feel like you compare yourself to others, don’t judge yourself but gently shift your focus back to yourself and your own life
I think there is nobody in this world (apart from maybe some buddhist monks) that can say that they never ever compare themselves to others. However, it’s important to know how to react when these feelings come up again.
The worst thing you can do in this situation is to judge yourself – judging yourself will only create resistance and will, most likely, make you feel even more misery and self-pity.
Instead, try to gently shift your focus back to your own life (you can think again of the things you’re grateful for). It’s a game-changer!
3. Develop a strong vision for your life that comes from your heart & soul
One of the top reasons why we compare ourselves to others is because we think we should follow a certain ideal that is perpetuated in society. So once you start letting of this ideal and take charge of your own life again, it will also become much easier to not compare yourself anymore.
Instead of chasing a certain ideal (in terms of looks, your job, or what you“should” do with your life..), define your own life vision and what you truly want to do.
Instead of asking yourself:
What am I supposed to do? What are society/my parents/my peer group expecting from me?
Ask yourself this:
What is my heart calling me to do?
Then go after it. I know it’s hard in the beginning but with it, comes so much freedom. Personally, I used to be super conscious about “fitting in” with society and pleasing everyone. However, this made me feel empty inside because I made decisions that were not in alignment with my authentic self.
4. Unfollow people on social media (or even in real life) who make you feel like you’re not good enough
Trust me, doing a social media spring-clean can work wonders! Do you know Marie Kondo, the lovely Japanese lady who helps people organize their homes and decide whether to keep items or not?
Then you probably know the question “Does it spark joy?”
I really encourage you to ask this question when it comes to the relationships in your life and the people you are following on social media.
Ask yourself: “Does this person I’m following spark joy in me?”
And even in your personal relationships, it helps to reflect more. Here are some reflective questions that might help you:
- How do I usually feel after spending time with this person? Do I feel empowered or sad?
- Do I gain energy and inspiration or do I feel drained of all my energy?
- Does this person make me feel like I can achieve amazing things or does he or she make me feel like I’m not good enough?
5. Practice Self Love and Self Acceptance Daily
Back when I was more self-conscious about the opinions of other people and questioned my self-worth a lot, I would fall in the comparison trap again and again.
Instead of working on myself from the inside-out and focusing on loving myself first, I tried everything to be accepted by others. However, this strategy will never ever work out and you will eventually lose your sense of self.
So what makes practicing self-acceptance and self-love so powerful?
By working on the love for yourself, you focus on YOU. Once you start filling your own cup and accept yourself for the person that you are, you won’t even feel the need to compare yourself anymore.
I hope these strategies help you stop the comparison game and see yourself for the amazing and beautiful person that you already are, right now. There’s no one like you, so instead of focusing on other people, focus on you and on highlighting your unique strengths and personality traits.
About The Author
Jennifer is a personal growth blogger, podcaster, and emotional wellness enthusiast over at jenniferlion.com. Through her blog and her podcast “Crazy Happy Mindshift”, she helps others to live a happy & authentic life while embracing their soul’s purpose.
Learn more about Jennifer by heading over to her blog jenniferlion.com